Thursday 14 October 2021

Chickens excited by prospect of significant pay rise after learning of ‘huge rise’ chicken prices


chickens to get pay rise

After suppliers across the country warned that the price of chicken could be set to rise significantly, chickens have welcomed the news, along with their inevitable pay rise.

The UK’s largest poultry seller has warned that the price of chicken is set to rise because of supply chain problems, which may or may not be caused by Brexit depending on how you voted in the referendum.

Chicken Simon Williams told us,  “It’s nice to be in demand, I mean, who doesn’t want to be wanted?

“But it’s also nice to know there might be a bit more money in it for us. It’s quite hard work scratching a living in these places.  We’re all just counting down the days till we can go and retire at the country farm with all our friends who’ve already left.

“I’m not complaining like, but I’m quite sure the guys who run this place will pass some of that extra cash our way – trickle-down economics, innit?

“Look, I’m not greedy, and I’m not after a lavish lifestyle, but maybe living quarters slightly bigger than a shoebox might be nice? Or the odd weekend off, and a paid visit to our friends in the retirement village? I’m sure they’d like to see some faces from the old place.

“Wait, what do you mean there’s no retirement village? Where does all the money go then?”

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