Donald Trump criticises removal of Thanos statue

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Former president and failed insurrectionist Donald Trump has launched a furious attack on authorities in Virginia for removing a controversial statue of Thanos from the town of Richmond.

The statues had been removed because ‘the veneration of a figure who caused the destruction of half of the human race no longer shares the values of the Virginian people’.

“Thanos was a great leader. A strong leader. He was one of the finest leaders earth has ever seen,” said Mr Trump, possibly whilst sexually assaulting someone.

“The radical left wants to tear down his statue and our proud heritage because they hate what he symbolises – strength, pride, and the ability to make tough decisions.

“Yes, he may have murdered half the human race, but he was a great leader, he got things done. If we’d have had Thanos leading the troops in Afghanistan, then we wouldn’t have had to surrender to the Taliban just as I arranged last February.

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“A great, great man.”

Trump fans agreed with Mr Trump.

“Trump man say good words,” said Trump supporter Simon-Bob Williams as he tore off the raw flesh of an opossum with his teeth.

“Me like Trump. Me like Thanos. Me like ‘possum. Make America great again. Make Trump great again. Make Thanos great again.”

There is no indication Virginia has any plans to remove statues of Damien Thorne, Ernst Blofield, and Jaws.