Warning that new ABBA album dramatically increases risk of Mamma Mia 3

Alert levels around the world have risen this morning after reports that a new album from ABBA dramatically increases the risk of Mamma Mia 3.

Governments took the step after receiving ‘highly credible’ warnings of a dangerous strain of Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan warbling their way through an entirely new catalogue of pop ditties – years after it was thought the danger had receded.

Most countries had reduced alert levels to ‘Mild’ since 2018, but reports of an unexpected influx of bouncy, catchy Swedish music sent analysts reeling – and Mamma Mia 3 alert levels globally rocketed to ‘Severe’ overnight.

“Oh, God, here we go again,” said Professor Simon Williams of the Kettering Institute of Abbology.

“There’s absolutely no reason to thank them for this music.

“We had security but now it’s slipping through our fingers, but when Colin Firth starts to sing it’s time to send out an SOS in case we meet our Waterloo.”

”It’s all about the money, money, money for them”, he added.