Wednesday 25 August 2021

Smoking surge coincides with surge in looking cool


man smoking

England has seen a rise in people taking up smoking that correlates with a rise in the number of people looking cool.

Smoking increased during the first lockdown, possibly to help combat stress, with 26.8 people describing themselves as smokers, up from 21.5%. This correlates with a survey taken at a similar time that found that 24% of the population are looking pretty cool. This was up from 20.2%.

“The correlation between the two figures is no surprise,” said Professor of Cool Shit, Simon Williams.

“We’ve long known that smoking leads to looking cool. So, when we see an increase in smoking like this, there is often a similar increase in people looking cool.”

Whilst there are serious health implications with any societal increase in smoking, there are some benefits to more people looking pretty cool.

“Of course. People are always going on about how smoking leads to lung cancer and heart disease, but it also leads to looking cool, and that can have tremendous benefits. You get more sexual attention, people respect you more, and if you can catch yourself smoking in the mirror of a divey bar, then you can get a real boost to your self-image.”

There are also benefits to being around people looking cool.

“That’s a noted phenomenon that we refer to as ‘secondary looking cool.’ Being close to people who look cool can make you feel like you’re in a 1940s Bogart and Bacall movie,” said Professor Williams.

“Which makes everyone feel better.”

Scientists continue to work to separate looking cool from smoking so we can enjoy the benefits of one without the health implications of the other.

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