Tuesday 24 August 2021

Anti-vaxxer refusing to wear seat belt because people wearing them are still dying in car crashes


Conspiracy theorist on seat belts

That guy you know from school who is always banging on about Covid being a conspiracy and the vaccines being ‘the thin end of the fascist wedge’ has today told you that he refuses to wear a seat belt because those that do, are still dying in car crashes.

Simon Williams, who you remember from school mainly because he spent science lessons trying to set fire to the nearest pencil case, is today insisting that the statistics on seat belts clearly indicate that free thinkers should avoid them like the plague – well, if the plague was real and needed avoiding, obviously.

Williams explained on Facebook, “Did you know more people died in a car crash with a seatbelt ON, than those without – you don’t see THAT in the mainstream media, do you?

“Sure, the sheep among you will probably say that’s because pretty much everyone wears a seatbelt these days so obviously the number of drivers wearing a seatbelt in accidents is going to be way in excess of those not wearing one – but that’s just using numbers and facts to make a point, which everyone knows is how George Soros and Bill Gates want you to think.

“If you want to wear a chest nappy like a big baby, then you go right ahead – the Magna Carta says I don’t have to, so I won’t.

“Anyway, if seat belts are so good, then why are people still dying in car crashes, huh? Answer me that!

“Everyone knows that preventative safety measures are measured only in binary terms, which means they either work absolutely, or not at all – and the fact people are still dying in car crashes means they’re not working at all.

“Ipso Factum – that’s Latin for ‘I am right about this’, so checkmate you big seatbelt idiots.”

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