Monday 16 August 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Taliban decide they may as well keep going till they hit France


Taliban fighters

The Taliban has decided that, as no one really seemed that bothered about them retaking Afghanistan by force, they may as well keep on going until they get to France.

“Frankly, we figured people would be cross enough about us re-establishing our medieval hellscape in Afghanistan to try and stop us,” explained a Taliban representative.

“But, as nobody seems that arsed, we may as well keep going, right?

“I reckon we could take Baghdad by Tuesday evening. Obviously, we’ll leave Iran alone because they’re a good bunch of lads. Turkey by Friday, then Greece and Macedonia. Then we’ll probably chill there for a day to watch the Arsenal/Chelsea match. Then we’ll bash through southern Europe and rock up in France by the following Thursday.

“Be nice that, we can hang people off the Eiffel Tower. Looking forward to it.”

Whilst nobody is really that bothered about what happens in Afghanistan because it’s quite far away, Western Governments may be forced into action once the Taliban starts establishing a hardline Caliphate in the Dordogne.

It is understood that officials are currently divided on what action they may take, with some advocating issuing a strongly worded statement condemning Taliban advances and others recommending everyone simply ignores the Taliban and hope they go away.

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