Thursday 5 August 2021

Stubborn man steadfastly refusing to apologise for what he did in wife’s dream

man refusing to apologise for what he did in wife's dream

According to reports this morning, local man Simon Williams is stubbornly refusing to apologise for any indiscretion that might have occurred in his wife’s dream last night.

Williams, who has been subject to frosty glances and terse responses all morning, continues to insist that he should not be held responsible for the actions of a version of himself that was created by his wife’s hippocampus while she slept.

“Well, yeah, he would say that, wouldn’t he?” explained his wife, Sharon.

“He’s been all ‘nice day isn’t it love?’ and ‘did you sleep well sweetheart’ as if he did NOTHING wrong in my dream last night.  It’s the pathetic attempt to pretend he did nothing wrong that upsets me the most.

“If he just came out and said sorry, it was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, we could get on with our day.  But nooooo, he has come up with a load of excuses like, ‘it was just a neurological hallucination during the REM phase of your sleep dear’ – that’s called gaslighting Simon!

“I’m telling you now, I won’t forget this, even if I’ve already completely forgotten the circumstances leading up to the incident, and what happened immediately after it.”

Simon told us, “I’ve tried asking for details about what it is I am supposed to have done in her dream, but she just said ‘don’t pretend you don’t know!’ like I’m some sort of telepath.

“But no, I won’t be apologising for whatever it is she dreamt I did.  If anything, I should be apologising for that time I snogged Sarah from accounts at the work Christmas party, and I definitely will if she ever finds out.”

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