An England fan is genuinely considering putting pineapple on a pizza today in a bitter and disgusting revenge attack on Italy.
Simon Williams, who has also vowed to over-cook his pasta for the next month and use crème fraiche in carbonara instead of cream, made the announcement this morning after still being unable to come to terms with last night’s painful defeat.
Speaking earlier he told us, “Pineapple on a pizza, that’ll show them.
“I’m really going to do it, just to wind them up. I’m not joking. I am SERIOUSLY considering putting pineapple on my pizza and then actually saying, in public, that it works.
“I know it’s completely wrong, but I’m just so angry, I need to vent my frustration. I’m going to actually do it, and send pictures to all the Italian team on social media, just to ruin their day.
“I mean, obviously violent thuggery followed by online racist abuse is the standard backlash I’d normally opt for, but I’m angrier than that, and so I need to take it even further, and to really stoop to a new low.
“I mean this was a final, and I need to make these Italians pay.”
Asked if he is also going to eat the pizza once he has put on the pineapple he told us “Eat it? With pineapple on? I’m not a fucking animal.”