Monday 14 June 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Man left despondent after remembering Toby Young exists


Toby Young

Chelmsford man, Simon Williams, was left despondent after suddenly remembering that Toby Young exists.

“I was having a nice day,” he explained.

“The sun was out, I went for a walk, won a pound on a scratchcard, that girl in Costcutters gave me a nice smile. I was in a really good mood.

“Then I remembered that Toby Young exists.”

A wave of terrible despondency immediately swept over Mr Williams.

“I just sort of slumped to the floor, my eyes filled up, and this huge feeling of unbearable hopelessness sort of swamped over me.

“Toby Young exists. He’s out there now, with his stupid face, complaining about woke immigrants coming over here taking all our free speech. It was awful, just awful.”

Ultimately, with the help of friends and family, Mr Williams has been able to move on.

“I’ve been staying with my parents and they’ve been helping me. Reminding me that there are things like flowers and puppies. It’s not just all Toby Young.”

He offered this warning for people.

“Remembering that Toby Young exists had a catastrophic effect on my mental health. Don’t let it happen to you.

“Just simply try to always think of anything but Toby Young.”

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