Tuesday 6 April 2021

Man drops his opposition to vaccine passport after learning it will be covered with Union flag


Vaccine Passport to include Union Jack

The union flag could never be on the cover of something bad, according to a man who has changed his position on vaccine passports today.

Simon Williams, 45, whose social media timelines are awash with conspiracy theories and desperately misleading fake news about coronavirus and vaccines in general, was vehemently opposed to the idea of a vaccine passport until he learned they would be covered with a union flag.

He told us, “Yes, until yesterday I was very much of the opinion that a vaccine passport was the very height of fascism, and that covid is actually nothing but the flu – however today I feel completely differently.

“I mean, the mere idea of brandishing a document with the union flag as a way to get into buildings and events feels incredibly patriotic, doesn’t it?

“Waving my vaccine passport would be like bowing to the queen, wouldn’t it?  How can a vaccine passport be a bad thing if it has the union flag on the front?

“Make them compulsory I say!”

Williams’ views have been replicated across the gammon community, who have found it difficult to criticise anything that will have the nation’s flag on the front.

Derek Matthews, 59, told us, “I can’t believe they have finally got me like this. It’s like they waited for me to spend months supporting anything and everything to do with the flag, only to then put it on something I really don’t like, all to make my brain hurt.

“I think the only thing that could possibly make my head hurt worse than this would be Meghan Markle in a union jack dress.”

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