Piers Morgan quits GMB to spend more time screaming at his Meghan Markle voodoo doll

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Professional gammon whisperer and enthusiastic attention demander, Piers Morgan, has today quit his role as a presenter on ITV’s Good Morning Britain in order to spend more time berating and sticking things into his Meghan Markle voodoo doll.

Morgan, who was responsible for 40,000 Ofcom complaints following his on-air accusation that Meghan Markle was lying when she told Oprah Winfrey about feeling suicidal during her time in the UK, has decided he would rather step back from his television role than do any grown-up apologising – giving him the chance to spend more time doing things that are important to him.

An ITV insider told us, “Piers often brings the Meghan voodoo doll on to set, and while the other presenters are being briefed during the ad breaks, he will pick up the doll and stick pins in its eyes while cackling maniacally.

“You can hear him muttering things like ‘Turn me down, will you, I’ll show you’ and ‘what has Harry got that I haven’t, nothing that’s what’.

“So it’s really not a surprise to anyone who works here that he’s looking forward to spending more time with the doll.”

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Although Meghan and Harry were unavailable for comment, a source close to the couple in Los Angeles told us, “Piers can play with the doll all he likes; it’s not like they actually work.

“Well, I don’t think they do. I mean, Meghan has one of Piers and has been stapling P45s to it every day for a year, so who knows?”