Tuesday 9 March 2021

Massive snowflake cancels himself


Piers Morgan quits

Piers Morgan has left ITV’s Good Morning Britain like a big pouting snowflake, rather than face the consequences of his actions like a grown-up.

Morgan, who will no doubt spin this into him being ‘cancelled by the ultra-woke’, has left the show with immediate effect, and will be replaced by someone less gammon-friendly for tomorrow’s broadcast.

Media analyst Simon Williams told us, “The thing is, ITV is making a big deal about mental health right now, even running its own mental wellness campaign called ‘Britain Get Talking’, so to have Piers using their airtime to basically say a woman opening up about her own mental health issues was lying wasn’t really ideal.

“I’m sure it could all have been resolved with an on-air apology, but frankly that’s not Piers Morgan’s style. He’d much rather quit and then play the victim.  It’s very on-brand.”

However, not everyone is happy he’s leaving.

Derek Matthews, 59, told us, “Once again the wokeist libtards are cancelling someone for simply telling it like it is. What has it come to when you can’t even brand someone talking about their mental health a liar on national television? This country is going to the dogs.”

However, Maureen Williams, 48, told us, “I’m hugely relieved. I was started to doubt my own mental health after finding myself cheering Piers on in some of his interviews with government officials during lockdown – so it’s nice that he’s reverted to type and I can go back to thinking he’s a twat.”

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