Friday 22 January 2021 by Neil Tollfree

Internet determined to sell man earwax-removal products


Man shocked by earwax removal adverts

The Internet remains determined to sell a man earwax-removal products despite a seeming lack of interest from the man.

“Just because he hasn’t bought earwax-removal products yet, doesn’t mean he’s not interested in earwax-removal products,” said the Internet.

The Internet began showing the man adverts for earwax-removal products last summer in the man’s Facebook feed.

“There was no indication that he was clicking on the adverts or even slowing down to read the adverts,” continued the Internet.

“But just that made me even more determined. I mean, perhaps he was embarrassed, perhaps he was looking at Facebook with a friend? You don’t know, do you? Even if he didn’t want to buy earwax-removal products at that precise moment, he might want to do so at some point in the future so I figured the best course of action would be to show him adverts for earwax-removal products as often as possible.”

Consequently, the man now sees adverts for earwax-removal products on Facebook, Twitter, the BBC, Pornhub, midway through this article and when googling ‘how to switch off the constant endless adverts for earwax-removal products’.

“I can’t get away from earwax-removal adverts,” said the man, one Simon Williams.

“They’re everywhere. I’m looking at one now. I’m always looking at one. Whatever I do, there’s a picture of a child having his earwax removed, or of a woman removing her own earwax and looking a bit orgasmic, or just a big pile of earwax.

“Why do people think I’ve got so much earwax in my head?”

However, the Internet would not be deterred.

“I’m one of the greatest scientific achievements of mankind,” it said.

“I just don’t think I’d be doing my job properly if that man didn’t have ready access to a variety of earwax-removal products at his fingertips for whenever he feels the need to remove some earwax.

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