Monday 30 November 2020 by Davywavy

Tins of Quality Street to be invisible to the naked eye by 2025


Quality Street boxes getting smaller

Tins of Quality Street are getting smaller so fast they will be invisible to the naked eye ‘within the decade’, scientists have confirmed.

Researchers at the Kettering Institute of Confectionarial Science confirmed that the tins were once far larger and chunkier but recent developments have made them a pathetic, sorry shadow of their former glory.

It is estimated that the current rate of shrinkage will mean shops having to supply a magnifying glass so customers can find stocks within ten years, and a scanning electron microscope by 2040.

“Twenty-five years ago the tin of Quality Street you got for Christmas weighed almost a quarter of a ton and could be used to prop open a door in a high wind,” said Professor Simon Williams

“So what was once a reasonably chunky family treat is now what would have been openly mocked in the street in 1993.

“If the trend continues, Quality Street will halve in size every eighteen months until they are smaller than any wavelength on the visible spectrum.

“Look, we’re not stupid and we do understand inflation. Make a decent size tin and we’ll pay more than a tenner for it. It’s fine.”

Quality Street has denied that their tins are getting piss-takingly small, and claimed that their product placement in the forthcoming Ant-Man sequel would put the size in a proper context.

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