Brexit Party demands Vimto Christmas lorry tours Britain

author avatar by 4 years ago

The Brexit Party has demanded that Britain bans the Coca-Cola Christmas lorry in favour of a far more British Vimto Christmas lorry.

The right-wing clown show took a brief break from having a screaming about immigrants on a deserted beach to declare that Coca-Cola is far too foreign now that Joe Biden runs the country is comes from.

“In this time of Brexit, festive good cheer and racism for all, we should be celebrating great British soft drinks like Vimto or RH Whites lemonade,” said Nigel Farage, before asking his supporters for money to join his latest get-rich-quick scheme.

He went on, “As a nation, we seem to be in thrall to this foreign muck and tolerate it’s lorry or ‘truck’ as they insist on calling it.”

The Coca-Cola Christmas truck has become something of a festive tradition with its bright lights, cheery music, and soulless corporate branding proving the highlight of the season for morons and idiots alike.

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“Panda Pops, Tizer, and that one that went ‘It’s Frothy Man’,” bellowed the Brexit Party bellower.

“It’s drinks like these that got us through the war, that Shakespeare drank whilst writing Great Expectations, that our Lady Princess Diana of Hearts refreshed herself with after conceiving Prince William.

“Where are their lorries?”

He then made an obscene reference to refugees, threw up and passed out on the curb.

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