Thursday 22 October 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Angela Rayner apologises for calling Tory MP ‘scum’ insisting she meant to say ‘f**king b*****d’


Angela Raynor apologises

Labour’s Deputy Leader Angela Rayner has apologised for calling a Tory MP ‘scum’ during a heated Commons debate on coronavirus restrictions, saying that she meant to call him a ‘f**king b******d’ instead.

She made the remark during a speech from Greater Manchester MP Chris Clarkson about how local business owners were a load of grasping chancers who just wanted a free handout.

“I’m very sorry,” said Ms Rayner.

“I don’t know what came over me. He’s obviously clearly a f**king b*****d, so I’m not sure why I just called him scum. I apologise unreservedly.”

However, for some people, it was too little too late.

“I think we went past the ‘Tories are f**king b*****ds stage several weeks ago,” said Simon Williams, a fictional character designed to articulate the thoughts of millions of normal people across the country.

“Their coronavirus response, their handling of Brexit, their corruption, their contempt for everyone who isn’t a middle-class Tory. No, we’re definitely past the f**king b*****d stage now. Frankly, if you’re not calling them ‘contemptible f**king b****ck-faced pieces of fly-ridden s**t,’ I really think that it’s time to consider your position.”

Mr Clarkson was unavailable for comment as he was telling racist jokes with his friends on a Government-subsidised grouse hunt.

A Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt here!

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