The Duke of York spent approximately £15,848 of British tax-payers money to fly by private jet to dine in Woking’s Pizza Express it has been revealed.
When questioned about the necessity and cost of the trip, Prince Andrew was adamant that it was an essential trip, and a good use of public money.
He explained, “Look, I’m staggered I have to defend myself in deplorable fashion once again. It’s been a difficult year for me after standing down from my duties. I’ve missed playing golf and mixing with child sex traffickers, all I wanted was to dine in my favourite restaurant in peace.
“I’ve been a loyal member of this fantastic chain ever since visiting the Woking branch on March 10th, 2001 in the early evening.
“When I heard that 70 branches were closing their doors, I had to have one final meal there that I’d be able to remember in weird vivid detail.
“I ordered an American hot with extra jalapeno peppers. Obviously, most people would have been sweating buckets afterwards, but due to my peculiar medical condition, I was unable to.”