Sunday 27 September 2020 by Chris Ballard

Bride and groom’s parents very first to be uninvited from Covid-restricted Wedding


Bride and groom at wedding

With the number of permitted wedding guests slashed from 30 to 15, couples have some tough choices to make. Some tougher than others.

With only days to go until their wedding, Simon Williams and his wife-to-be Karen need to cull half of their wedding guests.

“We’re seeing this as an opportunity,” said Simon.

“We want this to be the happiest day of our lives. What could be happier than a big celebratory piss up with all our mates at which it would literally be illegal for our judgemental parents to attend?

“Sure, I’m very appreciative of everything my folks have done for me – the long hours to ensure I didn’t go without, remortgaging to put me through uni, giving up a promising career as cruise ship magicians.

“But, you know, Darren’s a total legend when he’s had a few drinks, so he has to come.

“And I’ve known Steve since I was five. I’ll never forget my first day in Year 1 when he bounded up to me and shouted, ‘Men have babies in their balls!’ Which I now know isn’t strictly true but it felt like a profound discovery at the time.

“The good thing about parents is that they’re very forgiving. They’ll soon get over the disappointment when we give them a wedding photo for Christmas. Not the frame, obviously, they’re expensive.

“Ultimately, it’s my big day and I need my best friends at my side.

“I know Karen feels the same about her mum and dad. That’s what’s great about our relationship – we make all our decisions together.”

However, Karen has had a change of heart.

“Actually, it just wouldn’t be my special day without mum and dad,” she said.

“They can come instead of Darren and Steve. They’re twats anyway.”

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