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Representatives for Boris Johnson are understood to have reached out to fictional cartoon lawyer Lionel Hutz with a view to replacing Jonathon Jones as head of the government legal department.
It is understood that the government accepted that there would be no real-life lawyer available who would be willing to compromise their legal ethics to such a degree that they could serve the interests of this government.
There was, however, some disappointment that there were no live-action fictional lawyers who would be prepared to take up the position, with The Wire’s Maurice Levy or The Devil’s Advocate’s John Milton both early favourites.
However, despite being, respectively, a lawyer for drug dealers and literally the devil, neither considered themselves morally compromised enough to act on behalf of Boris Johnson.
It was starting to look like the only candidate for the role was an action figure of Gomez Addams from the Addams family before someone thought to approach Mr Hutz.
It is understood that he will take the job, provided he can be paid in cash, using untraceable dollar bills, a system the government already has set up to pay the various relatives of Dominic Cummings currently working on government contracts.
