Wednesday 5 August 2020 by Neil Tollfree

IT department to be relocated to muddy hole in field


IT department moved to muddy hole in a field

An IT department is to be relocated to a small muddy hole in a nearby field as part of an innovative new cost-cutting exercise.

The IT department at May and Mercury Insurance Ltd had previously resided in the damp, airless dingy basement of the building but it was decided that a better use of that space would be to store loads of old filing cabinets full of documents no-one needs anymore.

“The thing with IT folk is that they’re not like normal people,” explained HR manager Simon Williams.

“You know, they’re all into code and CPUs and World of Warcraft and all that crazy stuff.

“So, provided they’ve got that, they’re happy and they don’t need things like kitchenettes, working toilets or ceilings.”

The IT muddy hole in the field will draw power from a generator in a different slightly smaller muddy hole in the field. There will be no desks and IT staff will squat in the mud with laptops balanced on their knees.

A handful of umbrellas will be available in the muddy hole in the event of rain, but staff have been advised to bring in their own. Candles will be provided, but only during winter months.

“I would advise other companies to look into doing something like this,” said Mr Williams.

“By moving the IT department from a dingy basement to a muddy hole we could save up to three, perhaps four hundred pounds a year – and the only real cost is the health and well-being of our IT guys.

“And who really cares about that?”

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