Man moves smoothly from being an expert on viruses to being an expert on explosives

Internet expert Simon Williams has taken time from his busy schedule explaining the truth behind viruses to anyone who’ll listen, to spend time telling everyone how explosives work.

Simon, who holds a substantial education from the universities of Wikipedia and zerohedge, displayed his dazzling intellect by gaining a world-class grounding in explosives in twenty minutes flat despite never having seen one in real life.

“That has all the characteristics of a thermobaric device,” he confidently said of footage from Beirut, using a word he had only heard for the first time three hours ago.

“Trust me, I know what I’m talking about and anyone who says that this was an accident clearly hasn’t studied the evidence as thoroughly as I have over the last twenty minutes.

“I’ve watched that explosion from at least three different angles, and the only plausible explanation is an explosive device deliberately triggered to cause the maximum damage and to potentially destabilise the entire region.

“If you believe the official narrative about fertiliser that was stored incorrectly, then you’re an idiot,” he added, before expressing his scorn for people who’ve spent their lives learning about complicated things in a practical environment.

“Just because someone has spent twenty years dealing with improvised explosive devices in a range of warzones doesn’t mean they’re not a tool of the lamestream media pushing an implausible narrative they expect you to swallow.

“Look, I wouldn’t trust them as far as I can throw them.

“You call need to think for yourselves and agree with me.”

Advertisement

NewsThumpNotebooks

Somewhere to write down everything that’s wrong with the world. You may need several.

See the full collection →