Friday 24 July 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Urgent inquiry demanded into whose turn it is to take the bloody bins out

family argument about putting the bins out

There are demands growing for an urgent inquiry into whose turn it is to take the bloody bins out.

It had been widely assumed that it was Katherine’s turn, however, Katherine strongly refutes the claims, alleging that she actually took the bloody bins out two days ago meaning that, mathematically, it can’t be her turn.

Dad’s initial response was that she should just shut up and take the bloody bins out. However, Mum has called for an urgent inquiry into the matter as it may actually not be Katherine’s turn, but could well be one of the twin’s turn.

Dad has reluctantly fallen into line and backed Mum’s calls for the inquiry.

“I am confident that the inquiry will fully exonerate me and that I will not be taking the bloody bins out tonight,” said Katherine, in a statement given by Tik Tok video.

“It is definitely James’ turn, or Chris’s, and they’re just being lazy arses.”

The twins have yet to respond to the prospect of an inquiry leading some commentators to believe that they are biding their time until an inquiry is called and then will take legal action to delay or even shut it down.

Mum and Dad have pre-empted such a move by making it clear that they expect the twins to accept the conclusions of any enquiry.

“The enquiry’s decision on whose turn it is to take the bloody bins is final, and we will expect to see the bloody bins taken out after any such decision is published,” they said, in a joint statement.

There are, however, logistical problems with holding an inquiry into whose turn it is to take the bloody bins out as there are already separate inquiries into who ate all the Hob Nobs and who it was who stunk the toilet out.

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