Thursday 23 July 2020 by Mark Molloy

Return to work to help the country, say MPs not returning to work to help the country until September


Parliament on holiday till september

The government has urged the nation to continue to return to the workplace again this week to help to fight the on-going economic and health crisis the country faces due to the coronavirus pandemic, just as they head off for several weeks of holiday until September.

As summer recess gets underway in parliament today, MPs from all parties will put aside minor issues such as the current global health emergency, Russian meddling in the UK democracy and essential Brexit negotiations, until September when they have had a nice long rest.

A spokesman for the government confirmed, “We would urge the nation to continue to return to work wherever possible to help our struggling economy in this time of national crisis, and we’ll see you in a few weeks when hopefully most of it has blown over.

“We are proud of the incredible amount of hard work put in by our essential workers during this very difficult year for our country, and the sacrifices they have made, and we will, of course, be thinking of you every day during our unnecessarily long break.

“Whilst it might seem appropriate to cancel our own summer recess this year, or even shorten it somewhat given the absolute shit show going on in the country right now, it’s kind of already booked in and we really don’t want to.

“The Russia thing can wait, if we even do anything about it, and Brexit will sort itself out sooner or later, don’t worry.

“We’ll be back before you know it, just in time to get stuck into the excuses for that inevitable second wave of infections!”

A Cabinet of Arseholes – get the T-shirt here!

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