Donald Trump’s fading re-election campaign received a boost today as a new poll revealed that his popularity amongst people who write on the wall with faeces is as high as it has ever been.
The poll showed that people who write on the wall with faeces are more likely to vote for Trump by 57 to 39, with the remainder of respondents spoiling their poll answers with faeces.
“We are winning, we are winning more than anyone ever thought possible and it is with the help of the wonderful people who write on the wall with faeces that we will continue to win,” said Trump, in response to the new figures.
Bay St. Louis resident Simon Williams is a Trump supporter who spends his evenings writing Hillary Clinton conspiracies on the wall, in faeces.
“Oh, yeah, I’m still with Donald Trump,” he said.
“I could take you to a wall where I’d written a whole treatise using my waste on why Trump is the only person who can prevent the liberal elite masterplan to harvest the precious organs of decent Americans but, predictably, the Deep State came and washed it off last night during that huge rainstorm.”
Following the results of the poll, Trump has replaced this week’s campaign manager with a man who writes on the fall with faeces.
He is expected to be the most successful campaign manager yet.