Tuesday 14 July 2020

The ‘Blitz spirit’ that will carry us through ‘no-deal’ not that helpful when asked to wear a mask in the shops, insists Brexiter


angry man in a mask

A Brexiter who has spent the last twelve months insisting a no-deal Brexit is nothing to worry about because the Blitz spirit will help the nation deal with it, is today furiously bemoaning how awful it is to have to wear a mask to the supermarket.

Simon Williams, a fork-lift driver and staunch believer in a no-deal Brexit has insisted that having to wear a mask to do the shopping risks the very food on his family’s table.

He told us, “It’s like living in communist China. Making people wear a mask is literally the worst possible thing that can happen when you’re trying to do your shopping.

“It’s so inconvenient.  You have to put it around your ears, then fiddle with it a bit to get it comfortable. God help you if you wear glasses as they will keep steaming up.  The people making these rules clearly just want to ruin our lives completely.”

However, Williams is also of the opinion that any inconvenience caused by disruption to transport, food supply chains or medical supplies cause by a no-deal Brexit will be easy to deal with, because of the ‘Blitz spirit’.

“If we can cope with Johnny Foreigner dropping bombs on us, then we can cope with a few supply issues that lead to a few empty shelves.

“Obviously I’ve not experienced either of those things, because I was born thirty years after the war ended and my entire adult life has been spent inside the EU; but I know I’ll be able to cope because of how well I’m dealing with the minor inconvenience of having to wear a mask in the supermarket.

“With the great English stiff upper lip we can handle anything.

“Checkmate liberals!”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the T-shirt here!

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