Brexit supporter Simon Williams has claimed that the £500m spent on reintroducing the blue-but-also-sort-of-black British passport is worth every penny even though he has no intention of ever applying for one.
“I didn’t have one of those burgundy EU passports because they are a symbol of the oppression perpetrated against my country by the unelected bureaucrats that have been running Britain for the last 40 years,” explained the Leeds resident.
“The blue-cum-black passport tells the world that Britain is back at the top, right where we belong, and to me, it spells freedom from the faceless dictators in Brussels.
“Not that I’ll be getting one of course, because I hate foreigners and never want to be in their company – never mind being surrounded by them.
“I went to Benidorm about thirty years ago and swore I’d never go back. My mate Dave says that Spanish lager has improved since then, and that they can even do a decent egg and chips, but why take the risk?
“I’ve hardly left Leeds in the last ten years never mind going abroad. I went to Bradford a couple of years back and that was bad enough.”
Meanwhile, Brexit Party leader has welcomed the return of the blue-but-actually-black passport.
“There’s something special about the blue British passport,” explained Farage to reporters.
“It’s just a shame you can’t use it to travel the world waving it in the nose of all those foreigners. Well, you can’t. I don’t give a toss about quarantine and travel restrictions so I’ll just continue doing whatever I please.”