Saturday 27 June 2020

Beach full of turds in burger boxes to feature heavily in new ‘Visit Britain’ campaign


Visit Britain billboard

The latest ‘Visit Britain’ campaign to lure international travellers to the nation’s tourist hotspots will focus heavily on the latest feature of British beaches.

As warm weather encouraged people to head to the seaside in their droves, packed beaches have become full of burger boxes filled with turds, because apparently finding a toilet is so 2019.

The new image of a quintessentially British seaside adventure will form the centrepiece of a billboard campaign around Europe and beyond, in the hope of encouraging international travellers to visit our shores.

The campaign has been welcomed by Brits, especially those currently enjoying their seaside own seaside adventure.

“I had to come to the seaside, because if the coronavirus has taught me anything, it’s that life is short,” explained Simon Williams, shortly after shitting into a burger box while sitting on the beach less than two metres from the nearest family of five.

“As such, I’m not going to waste precious minutes looking for a toilet.  Christ, I might even have to queue to use it, and that’s just not something we should be expected to do in the post-coronavirus world we now inhabit.

“We should all try to live more ‘in the moment’, and if that particular moment requires a massive bowel movement, so be it.”

Spanish businessman Pedro Williams, told us, “I was planning to take my family to Britain this summer, or maybe next summer now.

“But I have to say, I was planning to see St Paul’s Cathedral, the Lake District and maybe even Stone Henge.  But I suppose we can settle for a beach full of boxed turds.”

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