Wednesday 17 June 2020 by Lucas Wilde

Boris suffers Eton flashback after hard shunt from behind


Boris minor shunt

Boris Johnson was taken back to his schooldays today after something went into the back of him.

The Prime Minister’s car was involved in a minor collision after a protester ran in front of his police escort, forcing his car to brake sharply and causing the following car to crash into it.

“The Prime Minister suffered no physical injuries,” confirmed Downing Street spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“However his eyes did glaze over and he started mumbling something about ‘fetching toast for the pretty prefect’, which I guess was just a symptom of mild shock and definitely not a flashback to some harrowing school experience.”

Boris Johnson commented, “RUFF RAHHH!”

“Crikey, bit of the old rear impact, right then, we’re all alright though, aren’t we? Good, good stuff.”

“Hmm? Oh no, I always hum the Eton school song during a car crash. Helps me get through it all, you know.

“Ignore the erection. That always happens too.”

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt here!

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