Trump Resorts announces acquisition of Overlook Hotel

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Trump Entertainment Resorts, Inc (NYSE: TRMP) has announced its acquisition of Colorado’s prestigious Overlook Hotel for a price understood to be ‘undisclosed, but high’.

The hotel, which has struggled to find a market in recent years and has had difficulty retaining over-winter staff, is expected to attract a similar clientele to other Trump properties and will offer masquerade parties, new decor in the lifts and a special new sort of golf in the maze.

Trump is understood to have formulated many policies by talking to guests at his various properties and plans to do the same at his new site – with senior White House staffers already impressed by ballroom barman Lloyd’s ideas on taking America forward and getting people to vote for the Commander in Chief forever.

“Yeah, we paid a lot for the hotel but it’s not like it was our immortal souls,” laughed Trump Organisation Vice-President Simon-Bob Williams.

“We see the Overlook Hotel as a perfect fit to the existing Trump Leisure portfolio,” he said.

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“Sure, the place has a bit of a wild reputation, but it’s really nothing worse than what goes on at Mar-a-Lago.

“And there’s one piece of unexpected good news – it turns out the President gets a new speechwriter along with the deal.

“He’s in the lobby right now banging out what he says will be Trump’s most coherent speech yet.”