Wednesday 3 June 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Trump confirms that the right to protest only applies to Karens wanting a new hairdo


TRump protests

US President and Bond film villain Donald Trump earlier confirmed that the freedom to protest in the US Bill of Rights only applies to middle-aged, entitled white women who want to have their hair cut.

The clarification comes in the wake of thousands of black people across the country who claimed that the First Amendment – the right to assemble and protest – covered their right to assemble and protest.

“That is a gross misinterpretation of the Bill of Rights,” explained the President.

“The Bill of Rights grants the right to protest, only when it’s nice white people who want to defy the brutal oppression of their Democrat Governors asking them to stay home to stop a fatal disease spreading.

“Those people have to get haircuts!

“There is nothing in the Bill of Rights that permits black people to take to the streets and not be shot at and tear-gassed, and that’s a fact.”

The President then brandished a document, that appeared to be an official copy of the Bill of Rights, with the words ‘except scary black men shouting’ written in magic marker at the end of the First Amendment.

“I will continue to support the right of all true Americans to demand to get haircuts whilst cracking down hard on anarchists and terrorists demanding not to be shot.

“As the framers of the constitution would have wanted.”

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