Thursday 28 May 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Wasps hold conservatory for third day


wasps holding conservatory

Wasps have maintained their hold on a suburban family’s conservatory for a third day.

Although there are currently four wasps holding the conservatory, the wasps initially took it with a small team of just two.

Mum-of-three Eleanor Gay was in the conservatory at the time, and told of the wasps’ incursion.

“Well, they must have both flown in at the same because all of a sudden, there was this really loud buzzing and banging sound.

“So, I looked up and there was this one wasp really aggressively flying and banging against the window and then this other one was just hovering, really menacingly, next to my lemonade.

“It was really intimidating, and I think that was their intention.”

Happily, she was able to make good her escape.

“I stood up slowly, as I didn’t want to escalate the situation by making the wasps angry, then I just stepped into the dining room and shut the door behind me.

“The angry wasp started banging against that door but the other one kept hovering near my drink. You got the impression he was in charge.”

Since then, the wasps have received reinforcements and held the conservatory.

“There’s four in there now,” explained a tearful Eleanor.

“I mean, it’s difficult, you know? I’m worried for the kids. We’ve told them that if they want to go into the garden, you have to go through the kitchen, but you know what kids are like, what if they forget and go through the conservatory?

“Who knows what will happen?”

The military have confirmed that they have no plans for retaliatory action against the wasps.

“We stand ready to offer assistance to all British nationals,” explained General Simon Williams.

“But, in this instance I fear we may unwittingly escalate what is already a highly charged situation, so we will maintain a watching brief.”

The house remains the scene of a tense stand-off.

As yet, the wasps have made no move to breach the conservatory door and take any further rooms in the house but, of course, if there’s one thing wasps are known for, it’s their patience.

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