Government reveals new line of masks to allow wearers to travel freely during lockdown

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Standing by advice to wear a mask when out of the house, the government has released a line which experts say will allow members of the public to travel wherever and whenever they like during the current lockdown situation.

The masks, which cover the wearer’s full face, are designed to let senior politicians know at a glance the wearer is protected and has the full confidence of the Prime Minister, allowing people to go about their business unhindered.

“It’s very important that people use clear visual signals that they are covered from any potential consequences of moving around during the current emergency,”  said Simon Williams, who is overseeing the manufacture of the devices.

“This is so the police know not to stop them and just let them get on with whatever it is they want to do. Even if they want to go for a walk a couple of hundred miles from their house every few weeks.

“And let me assure everyone that these new masks are just the ticket. They’re clearly recognisable from some distance – in fact, the only people who deny being able to see them are senior figures in the cabinet and the Prime Minister himself.

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“Sure, N95 masks or equivalent might be able to offer you some limited protections from coronavirus while you’re out and about, but if you’re wearing one of our masks for one of your many essential trips to the countryside, then you can be sure everything will be fine.”

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him – get the T-shirt!