Thursday 21 May 2020

Man with no useable body parts whatsoever loudly and publicly opts-out of organ donor scheme


Obese Man

A man whose entire body would be rejected for the purposes of organ transplant has taken to social media to loudly proclaim his displeasure at the government making people opt-out of organ donation.

After the government changed the law to make everyone an organ donor by default unless they opt-out, one man has wasted no time in expressing his displeasure.

Simon Williams, 44, took to Facebook to explain how unhappy he was that the state was taking the default position that his body could be used for organ donation, despite seemingly being unaware that the state has no interest in having any part of it.

An NHS spokesperson told us, “We’ve reviewed Simon’s medical history, and frankly, there’s not a lot we could use.  He is massively overweight and has early-stage heart disease – so that’s not good to us.

“He’s a lifelong smoker so his lungs are of no interest, plus he drinks like a fish so his liver is pretty fucked. His kidneys are much the same way, they’re as bad as you’d expect to see in someone twice his age.

“He suffers from psoriasis, so his skins not going to be going anywhere. I suppose his corneas might be OK, but frankly, given the state of the rest of him, I think we’ll just pass.”

Williams told his friends on Facebook, “They can’t have any of it. I don’t care how much they ask, I think it’s an absolute outrage that the state can claim my body as their own – which is why I’m saying no to organ donation.

“I’ll be taking this incredibly physical specimen to the grave with me.”

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