North Korean nutrition scientists have hailed a ‘massive success’ in fattening up the Kim Jong-un lookalike revealed yesterday in less than two weeks.
The country’s leader has not been seen in several weeks leading to many suspecting that the waddling chubster might have expired as a result of his lifestyle – only for someone who looked very like him to be pictured at the country’s factory.
However senior nutritionists have been unable to contain their delight at successfully transforming a stick-thin peasant who looked vaguely like Kim into a honking chubster with a stupid haircut in less than a month.
“There’s only enough food in our country for one fat guy at a time,” said Will Sim-un, Professor of Food Science at the University of Taedong.
“Which means we can’t keep lookalikes lined up in readiness.
“Instead, we had to stick a tube down the new guy’s throat and poor food down it like a foie gras goose until either he hit target weight, or burst.
“I mean, third time lucky, right? Shame about the other two guys but at least we managed to get most of them off the carpet.”