Sunday 3 May 2020 by Runi Talwar

Premier League announces decision to cancel current season and relegate Liverpool


Liverpool to be relegated from premier league

The Premier League has ended weeks of speculation and uncertainty around the fate of the 2019/2020 Football season this morning, by formally announcing the season will be declared null and void, and current league leaders Liverpool will be relegated.

The stunning decision has come as a surprise to many, as most people had suspected that should the league be cancelled, Liverpool would be declared de-facto winners.

However, the Premier League claims that the decision to relegate Liverpool was “most fair to everyone”.

“It’s not an easy decision for us to take”, said newly-appointed chairman of the Premier League, Gary Hoffman, in a press release.

“Unfortunately, due to this unprecedented global pandemic, we’re in strange times. And strange times call for strange solutions.

“We wanted to make sure that whatever decision we made was fair to as many people as possible. Ultimately, while awarding Liverpool the league might make sense to some people, we felt that it wouldn’t be fair to their rivals – after all, they are only 25 points clear at the top with 9 whole games to play. It’s really anyone’s league.”

Despite this sound reasoning, fans across the nation were still questioning the need to relegate Liverpool at all. Again, Hoffman attributed that decision to wanting to help “as many people as possible”.

“We knew from the outset that we couldn’t please 100% of the fans, no matter what we did. We could upset all fans a little bit, or we could upset some of the fans a lot, but delight the rest of them.

“So we decided to upset Liverpool fans, and hope that being able to laugh at Liverpool would be enough for everyone else in the country to feel happy about what we are doing.”

“While it’s true that Liverpool haven’t won the league in 30 years, we actually factored that into our final decision. Liverpool fans are used to being disappointed in the Premier League, so we thought they’d quickly get over this disappointment, too.”

Liverpool are yet to comment on this breaking story. However, sources inside the club say that manager Jurgen Klopp is understandably ‘fuming’ at the decision.

“He’s absolutely furious”, said one local inside source, who spoke on condition of anonymity and only to our Scouse-English translator.

“He’s got the same expression he used to have when Simon Mignolet was in goal. Just a mixture of anger and sadness at the situation he’s finding himself in.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: