Prince Andrew is today celebrating his 60th birthday with a quiet family celebration and a Sloppy Guiseppe.
As the eighth in line to the throne is currently trying to keep a low profile, he has decided the celebrations should be somewhat muted, but that is no reason not to include dough balls.
A palace spokesperson explained, “He had a two-for-one voucher, and decided to use it for himself, so he’s having an American Hot as well.”
Meanwhile, public buildings around the country are celebrating his birthday by flying a Pizza Express menu atop their flagpoles as a mark of respect for the man people seem to have no issue with remaining in the royal family.
Royal watchers have reacted with surprise that Andrew is still willing to go out in public, given the circumstances in which he was last in the public eye.
As one told us, “Harry and Meghan had to move to the other side of the world just because they wanted to get a proper job – but this twat gets to stay at home and have his birthday at his favourite pizza place.
“He’d probably be getting a much harder time of it if he was black and female.”