Think tank calls for ban on ‘office chat’ about economics and trade for being ‘exclusionary to Brexiters’

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Workplace banter about the gritty reality of life outside a major trading bloc should be curtailed on the basis that it’s exclusionary, according to a management body.

A new report from the Chartered Institute of Managers suggests that talking in realistic terms about the UK’s economic prospects after Brexit should be banned in the workplace.

“Not everyone likes to face up to the real world,” said Chartered Manager Simon Williams. “Many people prefer to view Brexit through the prism of high fantasy.

“If people are chatting about how the US will slap tariffs on everything if they don’t get their way, then these delusional Brexiters are naturally going to feel left out. If you want to discuss Japan’s insistence that a quick free-trade agreement with the UK would require us being in regulatory alignment with the EU then we simply ask you don’t do it in front of people who won’t understand it.

“I’ve got nothing against Remainers or economic literacy – that’s all great and everything – but bosses need to crack down on water cooler banter that focuses on Britain’s impending financial meltdown. It’s a gateway conversation to other divisive issues.

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“It’s a short step from ‘ooh, medicines are gonna be expensive’ to other inappropriate topics such as the value of immigration and the need for equal pay.”

Brexit supporter Christopher James welcomes the proposal.

“I’ve got no mates in work cos everyone’s always going on about how imports are gonna be expensive and how great the foreigners are,” he said. “It’s just not a safe environment for me to come out with my casually racist comments and jokes.

“Managers need to make sure that everyone feels comfortable in the workplace. Trouble is, the boss is a bloody kraut. Got no respect have they?”