Monday 27 January 2020 by Neil Tollfree

Global analogy shortage just like a something-or-other


shortage of analogies

A world shortage in analogies has proved to be like a something-or-other for the analogy industry.

The shortage in analogies was first noticed at the Oscars when an award winner described the feeling of winning an award as ‘like winning an award’.

Since that moment, unease has crept through the analogy industry like a thing that creeps through other things.

“This is a real concern to everyone in the industry,” said Simon Williams, a leading figure in the analogy industry who is, to many people, like an impressive thing or person.

“An analogy industry without analogies is like an analogy industry without analogies.

“There, you see? You see the problems we’ve got? I sound like a man who is in unable to describe something through means of comparison to another thing.

“It’s a real crisis. A world without analogies is like a something-or-other.”

The shortage in analogies is expected to cause problems other walks of life, with football commentators, nature programme presenters and politicians likely to be worst hit.

“I don’t think people realise the extent to which they are dependent on analogies,” continued Mr Williams.

“In many ways, they’re like a thing that exists to offer support to a different thing and if that thing wasn’t there then the other thing would… I don’t know, stop being a thing?

Mr Williams went on to give an example.

“Imagine a football commentator going – ‘he hit that ball like a man hitting a ball’ – people are going to think he’s a dick. Imagine a world where people think football commentators are dicks.

“Dreadful.”

There is now a very real concern that without analogies society could become reliant on metaphors and similes, but as no one can remember the difference between the two, people could end up looking as silly as a thing looking silly.

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