Tuesday 21 January 2020 by Chris Ballard

To tackle climate change you just need a good guy with some extreme weather, insists Donald Trump


Donald Trump speech at Davos

Silly climate change concerns can be dealt with swiftly and robustly, insisted Donald Trump at the World Economic Forum.

Speaking in Davos, President Donald Trump has dismissed the impending climate apocalypse as a ‘non-issue’.

“Our way of life is under threat,” said Trump. “Not from extreme weather. But from silly little girls who need to smile more and worry less.

“Climate change is a hoax, folks. It’s about as real as my illegal phone call to the Ukraine. Not happening.

“There’s not gonna be a poco lips. You know what that means? Small lips. Doesn’t even make sense. It’s a Mexican thing. You can’t trust Mexicans.”

Trump was then asked about the weight of scientific evidence which supported climate change.

He went on, “I’ve seen those so-called scientific reports. Very bad. Not even written in block capitals. Hard to take seriously.

“As for the fires in Australia, well firstly, thoughts and prayers.

“Secondly, it’s their own fault for not trimming their bushes. You don’t trim, you’re gonna get too hot. Swimwear 101.

“Look, if you’re worried about extreme weather events let me tell you exactly what to do.

“Get a good guy armed to the teeth with extreme weather. He’ll defend you. No problem.

“Bushfires? Droughts? Just get yourself a good guy with a hurricane can deal with it – whoosh. Lots of rain, no more fire.

“Easy.”

Mr Trump was then whisked away by his security team who seemed to have shunned the traditional black suits in favour of white medical coats.

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