Andrew Lloyd-Webber spent Christmas being haunted by the ghost of TS Eliot

Andrew Lloyd Webber spent three days and nights being tormented by the vengeful shade of TS Eliot, he has revealed.

Webber, who perpetrated the Cats movie upon an unhappy world, was awoken at midnight on Christmas Eve by an unquiet spirit determined to have its vengeance.

“I thought maybe it was a visitation from the netherworld to tell me I should do more for the poor and needy or something like that,” Webber told us.

“But it turned out to be TS Eliot who followed me around for three days and nights calling me names and making rude noises.

“To be perfectly honest, I’m quite surprised that a man born in the Victorian era knew some of those hand gestures as well.”

When asked if he found the haunting frightening, Webber said that he was used to that sort of thing by now as the screaming wraith of Gaston Leroux has been appearing in his mirror for the last thirty years.