‘So when do we start putting the bins out again?’ asks Britain

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British people are confused about when bin collections start again, it has emerged.

“I’m pretty confident that it’s Thursday today”, local man Simon Williams told us.

“And the council sent us a leaflet before Christmas saying that the blue bins would be collected over Christmas if there was an H in the day and it was divisible by three, so…maybe blue bin today?”

“Or maybe I’m wrong, because they also said Green bin will be collected if Saturn is in in the constellation of Orion, and to put the Black Bin out on the new moon after the feast of the annunciation of Saint Theophilius.”

After some deliberation, Britain has decided to stuff everything in the black bin and then put a bin bag over it so the refuse collectors don’t notice, and just hope for the best.

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