Sunday 27 October 2019

Wide-awake toddlers steadfastly refusing to accept clocks going backwards

nation's toddlers ignoring clocks going backwards

Toddlers around the country have this morning organised a protest against the clocks changing by waking up an hour earlier than they should have done.

Jack Williams, aged two and one month, was awake at 5am, despite being completely aware that it’s his Dad’s job to look after him on Sunday mornings so that his Mum can have her weekly lie-in.

Dad Simon told us, “Jack and I had a little chat at bedtime and I explained in great detail the archaic process of the clocks going back at this time of year, and I asked if he could perhaps stay asleep until around 6:30-7,  telling him how brilliant that would be.

“He not only refused my polite request, he completely ignored it while staging a spectacular dirty protest.

“Yes, I get that 5am is actually just 6am in old money, but that’s not the point is it? We’ve been given a free hour in bed, a gift from the sleep Gods, and Jack has just thrown it away like one of those non-biodegradable nappies his mum keeps telling me off for buying.”

When asked for comment, Jack told us, “Changing the clocks simply to give a bit more light in the mornings to the thirty or so remaining milkmen seems a little antiquated, no?

“If anything, you should be thanking me and my fellow toddlers for making you question the logic behind the whole thing altogether.

“I suspect if there’s any force of nature capable of making the nation have a rethink of this whole clock-changing thing, it’s really tired Dads.

“You’re welcome.”

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