Friday 25 October 2019 by Andrew Wilson

Shock as Kanye West demonstrates astonishing levels of self-awareness with “I’m the greatest dick of all time” claim


Kanye West greatest of all-time

In a rare moment of self-reflection and apparent humility last night, Kanye West finally admitted that he is a massive dick.

It happened during an interview with respected music journalist Harold Backstrap.

West explained, “I know people have been saying that about me ever since I tried to sing Bohemian Rhapsody outside of my bathroom but I actually think with the release of my new album “Jesus is King” I truly deserve the title now.”

When asked to expand on how much of a dick he is so people could really get a handle on it, he coined a brand new metric. The Trump.

He continued, “I’m a big Trump supporter. Got the red hat ‘n’ all. So I’m gonna say that on a scale from 1 to 10 Trumps I’m about a 4.”

Backstrap, asked “So you think you are about 40% as much of a dick as the president of the United States? I’m a bit surprised you think anyone is a bigger dick than you.”

According to Backstrap, West fell into an intense silence and stared at him, motionless for 30 seconds or more.

Then said, “I’m four times the dick Trump is. Fuck man. Don’t you listen to my songs?”

Backstrap asked, “So you don’t think you’ve hit peak dick yet.”

Kanye West reassured the interviewer, “No way man. I’m an artist. I’m evolving. There’s no telling what might happen. I left room for six more Trumps but we can just increase that. You can’t put a limit on potential. The Trumps just make it evidential…shit…hang on while I get my pen…”

In a 2019 survey, it was confirmed that Kanye West is, in fact, the greatest dick of all time. This confirms the result of 2018, 2017, 2016 and especially the 2015 survey.

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