Friday 25 October 2019 by Arabin Patson

Another defeat for Boris as his proposal to order a curry for dinner loses out to vegetarian fajitas


Boris Johnson loses vote on takeaway

The Prime Minister suffered yet another setback last night as his bid for a takeaway from the Peshawar Palace did not pass and Carrie Symonds won the day with her motion to cook up some fajitas as she wanted to empty the fridge of vegetables before the weekend shop.

Simon Williams, a spokesperson for Boris Johnson insisted that being made to eat spicy vegetables in a tortilla wrap was just a temporary setback and that sitting down in front of the telly with a king prawn Jalfrezi was still very much the plan.

He went on, “The PM has insisted that he would be munching on poppadums with lime pickle before the end of the week and he has no intention of giving up on that promise.

“The opposition can keep throwing up procedural obstacles such as threats to sleep in the guest room but Boris has set a resolute course towards onion bhajis.

“No amount of socialist twaddle about five-a-day and healthy colons will hide the fact that she is scared to put it to a coin toss. We are confident that we represent the will of the nation in wanting to put in a large order so we can get free delivery and make a biryani with the leftovers tomorrow.”

Although Mr Williams claims otherwise, the failure of the curry proposal comes after a long series of humiliating defeats within the number 10 flat.

So far, Boris Johnson has been forced to concede to Ms Symonds demands over curtain fabrics, feet on coffee tables, vegan Tuesdays, who should clean the shower drain and accepting a permanent moratorium on experimenting with anal.

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