Monday 30 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

‘Surrender treaty’ says Boris for the 768th time this conference


Boris and his surrender treaty

Boris Johnson has said the words ‘surrender treaty’ for the 768th time so far this conference, according to onlookers.

The incident occurred approximately three seconds after he said the words ‘surrender treaty’ for the 767th time this conference and nine seconds before he said it for the 769th time.

He said the words in answer to a question that had nothing to do with Brexit, treaties, or surrendering.

“Yeah, it was a bit weird,” explained not quite completely disillusioned yet Tory Party member Simon Williams.

“He just came down got breakfast, looking about 86, which is actually pretty good for Boris.

“The lady asked if he wanted scrambled or fried eggs and he just went ‘Surrender treaty’.

“It was the 349th time I’d heard him say it since he arrived yesterday, and I’d only seen him mingling with delegates for half an hour at an event in the evening.

“It’s almost like those are the only words Dominic Cummings will let him say or something.”

If rumours are to be believed, it is expected that delegates will have to get used to hearing the words ‘surrender treaty’ a lot more, as it is understood that his keynote speech will consist of nothing more than ‘surrender treaty’ repeated 300 times.

Asked for a comment, a spokesperson for number 10 said ‘surrender treaty’.

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