Positives from West Ham defeat include turning up on time and nobody actually shitting themselves, confirms Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has taken many positives away from his Manchester United team’s embarrassing two-nil defeat to West Ham.

The embattled Manchester United manager invited a storm of criticism from fans, pundits and probably even his own family after losing 2-0 to the Hammers on Sunday.

“I’d rather focus on the positives, of which there are many,” commented Solksjaer.

“Everybody had the right kit on, for a start. I really can’t stress how important that is.

“All of my teammates remembered to go top the toilet before the game started – albeit Harry Maguire needed reminding, but nobody’s perfect. This meant we didn’t have to deal with a ‘Gary Lineker’ situation.

“And everybody remembered which bus to get on after the game had finished, which meant we got everyone home safe.

“There are countless other examples that I won’t bore you with now, but I think we have a really solid base to build from which will allow us to absolutely storm the lower half of the Premier League table.”

Manchester United fan, Jay Cooper, commented “fucking hell.”

“We’ve gone from winning the Premier League, Champions League and FA Cup in a single season to scraping for positives from a defeat at West Ham.

“Now I know what it must feel like to be an Arsenal fan.”

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