The veteran broadcaster, who hosted the Today show for 32 years, has written a scathing attack on the BBC left-wing bias that has always stymied his lifelong dream to yell insults at women wearing headscarves on public transport.
In it he revealed, “The once-proud BBC has been taken over by leftie pearl-clutchers who operate like the Kremlin. I once proposed a great afternoon show, where I would walk around London telling people who look foreign to go home, but the virtue-signallers in management said nyet.”
John Humphrys also revealed how he also fell foul of what he called the radical feminist brigade within the corporation.
“I was forced to present alongside Carrie Grace, a woman who gets rather violent when you give her a friendly pinch. To cap it off, the BBC banned me from having a fascinating interview with her where I could have asked her about how she’s harming her kids by wanting to do a man’s job.”
Now free of any contractual obligations, John Humphrys has promised the public they would see a different side to him.
“Everybody sees me as a slightly biased old duffer who gives soft soap interviews to his Tory friends and occasionally reveals how much he hates French people. But now the chains are off, I can interview Mark Francois and call him a military hero or tell my followers to smash up Citroens.
“But best of all, I can live my lifelong dream of drinking half a bottle of cheap gin, taking a random bus and screaming that the country is full to a black woman born in Kettering.”