Donald Trump announces huge border wall with Canada to prevent Melania pouncing on Justin Trudeau

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President Trump has announced that work on a northern border wall is to begin immediately, following a significant ‘moment’ between his wife Melania and Justin Trudeau over the weekend.

The First Lady was photographed gazing at the Canadian Prime Minister with a mixture of admiration, searing desire and the purest love at the G7 gathering yesterday; the like of which she has certainly never been seen to direct at her husband Donald in all the years of them being photographed together.

President Trump angrily tweeted this morning, “Canada sucks! Worse than Mexico! We are going to have a border wall with Canada!” followed by another that read “They are coming over here, with their perfect young bodies, natural hair and winning charm, making our women horny – SAD!”

Melania Trump defended the photo this morning to White House press this morning saying with a wink, “My husband once famously said that he’s ‘automatically attracted to beautiful’ and that he just starts kissing them. So if he can, I will too.

“That five and a half seconds yesterday was the most alive I’ve felt in years. Justin is my hero and I’ll have him one day, even if I have to fight Ivanka for him.”

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Whilst a borderline is currently clearly defined between the US and its northern neighbour, in some places just a single barbed-wire fence divides the countries and for large stretches, there is no fence at all, presumably because no-one in their right mind would leave Canada in search of a better life in the USA.