Thursday 8 August 2019 by Pete Redfern

Trump slams Dayton and El Paso survivors for not smiling more during his photo op


Donald Trump visits mass shooting victims

After examining photographs in the press of his recent visits to Dayton and El Paso, President Trump has today chastised the mass shooting survivors for ruining his photos.

The impromptu visits to Ohio and Texas as a response to tragic mass shootings were welcomed by Trump as an opportunity to get some great photos for his 2020 Presidential campaign, but sadly the victims appeared not to be fully engaged with his photo opportunity.

“Sad!” he bellowed over his breakfast Big Mac, grease mixing with his fake tan and dribbling down his chin to pool on the tablecloth like orange jelly.

“I know some of them had been shot at, but they could have smiled a bit more. You’d think they would have put aside their discomfort and given a big grin and thumbs up to match the smile and thumbs up of everyone’s favourite President, Donald Trump!”

A White House aide shifted uncomfortably in the corner of the room as Trump continued, “When Obama visited shooting victims, he looked very miserable and un-American. He even cried while hugging a bereaved mother, the pussy.

“That’s not how you win elections, is it?”

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