Tuesday 9 July 2019 by Gary Stanton

Irony-free patriot Tommy Robinson seeks refugee status in nearby United States


Tommy Robinson applying for asylum un the US

Patriotic defender of the indigenous British people, Tommy Stephen Robinson, has applied for refugee status in the United States from where he can better serve the multicultural paradise he so obviously adores.

Robinson took to the moderate website Infowars to launch his appeal for political asylum in the US, after claiming he had been “sentenced to death” in the UK, or more accurately, a reduced likelihood of being invited on Question Time due to an electronic tag.

The former EDL leader had been scheduled to be interviewed about his appeal by the BBC’s Faisal Islam, but rejected the opportunity after mistaking him for a terrorist organisation.

Luton-born Yaxley-Lennon looked utterly drained in the three-minute clip, but this was later attributed to him having spent three days in custody with little more than a bottle of baby lotion and a signed photo of Geert Wilders.

Meanwhile, millions of ordinary Britons of various faiths and skin tones have begged Donald Trump to speed up Tommy’s application and will be glad to see the back of the sharp-suited c*nt.

However, Tommy’s all-year-round suntan could mean his application is delayed as over-zealous US custom officials mistake him for a devout Muslim who struggles to grow a proper beard.

Last night, a spokesman for Trump’s government, Chuck Williams, said, “Unfortunately, Tommy Robinson’s extensive criminal record for routine stuff like fraud, assault and jeopardising child rape trials means he would even be refused entry for a two-week break to fucking Disneyland.

“If the conventional route is barred to him, Tommy could always try his luck on the Mexican border, where he could lecture all those potential rapists about the error of their ways while filming it on his mobile.

“Granted, the queue to get in stretches as far back as Guatemala – but he’ll love that being British.”

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